Tuesday of the Second Week of Lent

Isaiah 1:10, 16-20      Matthew 23:1-12

The readings today left me with a sense of deep gratitude, for the ongoing journey of feeling God’s invitation to humility and grace. I am a recovering perfectionist. I empathize with the Pharisees that perhaps are behaving in a way that they feel is best. They “perform to be seen” because they are leaders. They don’t “lift a finger” because perhaps they believe it’s honorable for their subjects to earn their spiritual success. There’s certainly a lot to unpack there, especially as a parent.

I’ve grown and learned enough that perfection is not a connecting force, it breeds resentment, it’s divisive, in oneself and with others. It creates judgment, shame, and loneliness. While I aspire to lead my children with my husband, I also can create a power struggle when I assume that I know everything, and then refuse to validate my children’s experience. Jesus is teaching us that all of us lose in a power struggle. “Do not be called ‘Master’”.

Humility is the connecting force; our imperfections, our humanness, these are what unite us. We are not thinking and doing beings, we are human beings. We feel. Certainly my 4 young children remind me of this all day long; big feelings of silliness, compassion, confidence and disappointment, anger, worry. I catch myself correcting or reassuring their hard feelings sometimes because we need to settle down, go to bed, get out the door, or just be happy and move on. But then I make myself “Master,” demanding compliance and denying everyone their humanness, even my own feelings of anxiety and exhaustion overwhelm. Then I feel ashamed for not having it all together or worse, blame my children for these feelings and make it their fault.

Leadership is ownership and Jesus teaches here that we are designed to need God’s grace, we are hard-wired for vulnerability. “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” I mess up as a parent all the time, and it’s also true that my most “perfect” moments are when I say sorry or ask God for help.

Q:  What are some of the areas in my life that I need to be more vulnerable and humble? 

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