Tuesday of the Second Week of Lent

Isaiah 1:10, 16-20      Matthew 23:1-12

The readings today left me with a sense of deep gratitude, for the ongoing journey of feeling God’s invitation to humility and grace. I am a recovering perfectionist. I empathize with the Pharisees that perhaps are behaving in a way that they feel is best. They “perform to be seen” because they are leaders. They don’t “lift a finger” because perhaps they believe it’s honorable for their subjects to earn their spiritual success. There’s certainly a lot to unpack there, especially as a parent.

I’ve grown and learned enough that perfection is not a connecting force, it breeds resentment, it’s divisive, in oneself and with others. It creates judgment, shame, and loneliness. While I aspire to lead my children with my husband, I also can create a power struggle when I assume that I know everything, and then refuse to validate my children’s experience. Jesus is teaching us that all of us lose in a power struggle. “Do not be called ‘Master’”.

Humility is the connecting force; our imperfections, our humanness, these are what unite us. We are not thinking and doing beings, we are human beings. We feel. Certainly my 4 young children remind me of this all day long; big feelings of silliness, compassion, confidence and disappointment, anger, worry. I catch myself correcting or reassuring their hard feelings sometimes because we need to settle down, go to bed, get out the door, or just be happy and move on. But then I make myself “Master,” demanding compliance and denying everyone their humanness, even my own feelings of anxiety and exhaustion overwhelm. Then I feel ashamed for not having it all together or worse, blame my children for these feelings and make it their fault.

Leadership is ownership and Jesus teaches here that we are designed to need God’s grace, we are hard-wired for vulnerability. “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” I mess up as a parent all the time, and it’s also true that my most “perfect” moments are when I say sorry or ask God for help.

Q:  What are some of the areas in my life that I need to be more vulnerable and humble? 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thursday after Ash Wednesday

  Deuteronomy 30:15-20     Luke 9:22-25 Every Christmas Day – after the presents are open, breakfast is served, the boys are busy with their gifts– we settle in and watch It’s a Wonderful Life . It’s a tradition I cherish, while readying myself for a cathartic cry and all the feel-good Christmas sentiments this movie lends. I’ve watched this movie several times over the years, and every single time I do, I catch something new, something I’ve never seen before and the great significance it adds. This year was no different, when I noticed a framed quote that was hung underneath the portrait of Pa Bailey, prominently displayed on the office wall of the Building and Loan. In this scene, Geroge Bailey decides to stay at the “old building and loan” at the board’s request after his father passes. For a few seconds this portrait, and more pointedly the framed quote underneath, was zoomed in on, and stated “All you can take with you is that which you’ve given away.” Today’s gospel reminded
Read more

Wednesday of the First Week of Lent

Jonah 3:1-10     Luke 11:29-32 Like Jonah, God is calling each of us every day to help accomplish his Will in the world. When we do good and when we fail to do good, he loves us the same. He is anxiously waiting for us to take his hand and feel his grace in our lives. In scripture he uses our love for our children as an example for how he loves us. As a mom of two little boys who mean more to me than anything in the world, nothing resonates with me quite like that. My love for them is so strong and my desire to protect them so intense. If I would do anything for my children to feel peace, love and protection, how much more does God want that for us and how much more will he fight for that for us? Every Lent I tell myself “this Lent is going to be different.” I am going to spend more time in prayer with the Lord, give distractions up and do better. And almost every Lent, I fall short. I disappoint myself and feel like I let God down. As I get older, the pressure never changes, but I
Read more

Ash Wednesday

  Joe1 2:12-18     2 Corinthians 5:20-6:2     Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18 “When you fast,” says Jesus in today’s Gospel, do not make a show of it, do not “appear to be fasting.” Jesus instructs this in a passage about “righteous deeds” that also include prayer and almsgiving. Don’t be demonstrative about those either. Among these deeds, fasting is the practice that comes first to mind as Lent begins. Religious fasting (restricting what we consume) and abstinence (foregoing something altogether) are common practices across history and around the world. I have, for example, known and admired observant Muslims who fast during the month of Ramadan, refraining from all food and drink between sunrise and sundown. Such discipline!    The surprise for me in today’s Gospel is Jesus’s teaching to be quiet about our fasting. Thinking about it, how would anyone know that we are fasting? Well, in my lifelong Catholic experience, we tell one another, airing aloud our resolutions about what we’re “giv
Read more